Monday, December 2, 2013

Elections 2013

We're live!

@PBDecides2013 is providing running commentary as well.

6:05 pm: first chants of "MAGIC MAGIC MAGIC" commence.

Red Carpet Report: Greer in flannel. Both VP candidates wearing band sweaters and khakis.

Kit-Kats are fueling the press box. Glucose levels rise.

A freshman candidate, Steven Meisler, arrives.

ADAM IS HERE. Adam is the coelacanth of the Band. Just when you think he's extinct, he returns. He has recently reawakened from his post-Bonegiving slumber. Hi, Adam.

6:10 pm: second chants of "MAGIC MAGIC MAGIC" commence.

6:10 pm: Chris Dorian asks if he is eligible to run. He is not.

Not enough pills in the Greer.

Presidential candidates:
Rob Ritchie
Lauren Mendoza
Kristi Littleton

Rob Ritchie begins his speech. Band is his happy place. He knew before he came to campus that he was going to join band. He takes a break from mountains of homework to play in band. He has been chop SL and conducting assistast. He says that he is a very loud voice on Board. Rob wishes communication to improve between Board and Council. Rob has sat down with EVERYONE ELSE running for a board position tonight. He wishes to retain undefeated record.

CLAP CLAP CLAP

Lauren is up. At Thanksgiving she told everyone how thankful she was to find her home on campus. She is good at keeping up with things because she works from school for a catering company...WOW. She already serves as a figurehead (DM). She has given us various performance opportunities. She takes Council's criticisms to heart. Lauren made the Band's Spotify playlist. She has grown very much though Band. She would work with other Band members to promote unity. There is no such thing as a typical bando. She wants celebrate diversity. A SCANDAL. LDOZ is in love with us.

SHOTS FIRED--I want to be president not for the power, but for the honor.

CLAP CLAP CLAP

Kristi is up. Last board has done a good job being transparent (take a shot!). In the fall last year, Kristi got a call from...ME! He asked me (I asked her?) to live in the Band House. She said yes! and ran through the pouring rain to sign the lease. She served as flute section leader, and shout out to Kelly for doing a great job. She really loves our social atmosphere. Many mentions of the Band House (she is the only candidate running for prez who lives in the Band House). She really wants to be on Board. She isn't running because she thinks she'd do a better job, so she won't list her qualifications. If you add up the hours, she has given a whole lot...that's all.

CLAP CLAP CLAP

Questions--the fun part begins!

Tony B--the saxophone vote is pretty much undecided. What can you do to appease the saxes?
LM--I'll let you know when we split you up.
KL--(inaudible)
RR--I live with you, Tony.

Koosh--Here's a real decision we had to make--Band is to play in San Diego for the first game of the season but only pays for 20 people.
RR--poll the Band for instrumentation. Keep in mind that some people aren't totally confident.
KL--agree, but take seniority into account. Lottery if not
LM--talk to section leaders. Don't overwhelm.

me--what would your band philosophy be moving forward
KL--said it in my speech, we are family
LM--one band, one sound. We operate as a unit
RR--openness (take a shot!). I don't want Band decisions to be made by just a few people

Jon Calles--what is your personal stance on overcommitting/undercommitting to events?

--KIT-KAT break--

LM--use section leaders as a resource to determine availability
RR--err on the side of caution. We sound REALLY good. Focus on quality of event of quantity
KL--depends on the event. Purim, for example, was really great with just a few people. If we're just playing for Jews, sound quality doesn't matter.

Kylie Murrin (DM and superhot redhead)--what is one thing concrete thing you want to emphasize?
KL--history of the Band
RR--look at the way Council works. Tweak social chair position.
LM--change the "anyone can play in the band, even if you don't play an instrument?" narrative. Bring it together. Have everyone in it?

Joe Becker (senior tuba)--Name a personal weakness of yours.
KL--I like to do things alone.
RR--I don't want to take on TOO much. I don't want to jump into everything.
LM--I have taught myself to break down large projects.

SERVICE INTERRUPTION

Serge Saint-Preux--What will you do if you lose?
LM--apply for a council position, my position as DM expires in May
KL--council?
RR--still try to stay involved?

Closing Statements!
KL--Want to make Band a happy family.
LM--Band is a safe place. I want to make things better. IS SHE CRYING? Maybe.
RR--(scripted)

--DKJ getting up to do things--

I'm back. Rob is 3rd place. Voting commences between Lauren M and Kristi L.

--DKJ back out to tally votes--

--Josh Tagging in--

DKJ announces that the President for the 2014 Calendar Year is Lauren Mendoza

--DKJ back!--

Nominees for Vice President are
Andres Gonzalez, VP incumbent
Jacob Reeder, recruitment/retention chair

Kristi Littleton and Jon Calles respectfully decline nominations from Chris Dorian from the floor.

VP:
Andres Gonzalez
Jacob Reeder

AG: I do waaaaay more than just write shows. Zoo animals, band lunch, notes at IBC, rewrote IBA. I set up chairs for elections! Showwriting used to miserable--just a laptop in the back room. My shows are actually funny--they're supposed to be! I grew up in a single room with six other people. Most of the men in my family are addicted to something. I'm

CLAP CLAP CLAP

JR: I REFUSE TO TRANSCRIBE A POEM! I haven't been able to make it showwritings this semester because I've been at Lea Elementary. He has already signed his soul over to the Band.

CLAP CLAP CLAP

Matt La Fronz--what is your best joke?
AG--Matt La Fronz (raucous applause)
JR--puts his hand on Greer. Makes a dirty pineapple joke.

tension is thick

Jon Calles--what do you think was the best part about showwriting
JR--I like shows that have poetic flow. I liked the history part of the homecoming show.
AG--I also want to work on my limericks.

Jodi Lapidus--what fruit would you live in and why?
AG--pomegranate--roomy!
JR--peach, b/c Dahl

Travel Manager, Treasurer candidate--Dana Rosenberg--question about cutting shows
AG-generic answer
JR--no answer, no one points this out

Josh Cooper--how can you get shit past censors?
AG--I already have!
JR--I don't want showwriting to be exclusive.

Josh Cooper--who is your audience?
AG/JR--blah blah blah

Jordan King--what do you want to do in the fall?
AG--zoo animals, etc.
JR--recruitment/retention

Chris Dorian--what do you want to add to the VP role?
JR--communication (take a shot!)
AG--same sortsa things

Dr. Kushol--2014 is the 50th anniversary of scrambledom in the Penn Band! What do you want to do?
JR--a field day and parade
AG--I'll think about that later

Closing statements:
JR--I've found my home here
AG--I love that my voice (Jon's voice) gets heard

--DKJ to count votes--

--Josh Tags in--

David does announcements.
Hanukkah
Josh Cooper is King of the Jews
Non-Denominational Secret Snow-Person is on Saturday

Our new Vice-President for the 2014 calendar year is Andres Gonzalez

TREASURER IS NEXT

Travel Manager Dana Rosenberg is the only name on the first ballot.

Tony Barberio nominates Rob, chop SL
Scott Stinner nominates Reeder, recruitment/retention chair
Chris Dorian nominates Kristi, social chair

ALL ACCEPT NODS. HOLY SHIT. UPDATE: HOLY FUCKING SHIT. We're going to be here until midnight.

DR: Joe Becker's mom (nursing prof) convinced Dana to join. She loves us. Treasurer does not require advanced financial skills.

Adam Gross--if you had to define your treasurership in one word, what would it be?
KL--sexy
DR--responsible
RR--?
JR--KateKutch (boos of disapproval)

Chris Dorian (likes to talk)--how would you like to expand the role?
DR--more internal fundraising
RR--being a board member is very important, via DKJ's email
JR--no after-the-kneecap, gung-ho tactics
KL--says that DKJ says that anyone who wants to be on board would be fine treasurer and would have those necessary skills

DM Kylie Murrin--you all have current positions. How would you expand those skills?
RR--I've been creating music packets for the chops. I am organized.
JR--I excel at personal relationships. This is necessary for debt collection.
KL--I'm working with Kate on crafting a social chair budget.
DR--I planned amusement park roadtrips

Andi (frosh sax)--how do you want to use money differently?
JR--instruments
KL--travel is being hit hard
DR--?
RR--you're not much of a band if you don't have instruments. We've already gone through our instrument repair budget

Kutch (treasurer incumbent)--you must read Koosh's mind (commence hilarious dialogue)--how do you keep track of things
KL--Google docs, unless people don't check them
DR--I balance my checkbook. I would do something like that. I love the directors and would look forward to working with them.
RR--I think my drum major experience gives me an advantage
JR--I have a good working relationship with Greer and Koosh. Not Adam (hssss)

Flute SL Kelly Ha--What interactions have you had with other Board/Council members?
DR--I wrote quizzo with DKJ
RR--I worked with DKJ/Board and DR on the NSO Carnival
JR--Recruitment was very important for me. We talked to EVERYONE.
KL--(I went to check my email and wasn't paying attention)

Serge SP (senior flute)--how would you prevent the instrument repair problem?
blah blah blah

Chris Dorian--How would you feel about have instrument repairpeople? (shocked gasps) (His New Jersey accent is showing)
Greer--We call them "Equipment Managers"

--Closing statements--
largely repetition

--Josh is back--

Greer is doing more magic
Small rope, medium rope, long rope
Greer made a bad joke
Cheers go up for Scott to be Horse's Ass

Rob and Jacob are eliminated. The Runoff is between Dana and Kristi

Penn WBBALL is up 29-22 at Halftime

History of the Horse's Ass

The New Treasurer for the 2014 School Year is Dana Rosenberg

SECRETARY IS UP
Clarinet SL Marietta Catsambas
Incumbent Secretary Josh Cooper
Freshman Steven Meisler

MC--I knew I had found my home at Penn in the Penn Band. As clarinet SL, I've made my section more cohesive and I have stayed on top of stuff. I am top of things and I care I care I care. I don't know what I would do without you guys. (she might be reading a piece of paper, but she is getting emotional). She wants to give back to the Band.

JC--I'm your current secretary. I probably should have sent out emails sooner. But I'm really good at getting to know people really well. It's my job to be creepy. I have people here who I can count on, which I can't say about anything else. I stayed here over Thanksgiving because I love you all more than I love my actual siblings.

UPDATE: @PBDecides2013 has hit its daily limit. Now tweeting @PBStillDecides

JC (cont'd): I love you guys, shucks. I'm staying here another 1.5 years.

SM: I am "Jukebox" Meisler and I know I am a baby. I think I would be the best fit for Secretary because I love everyone, especially the drumline. (ed. note: he is so damn adorable). I've been to everything I would possibly go to (ed. note: true). I want to be on the Board to represent you guys. Be wiser--vote Meisler!

Questions

Serge--name three freshmen. ANY FRESHMEN?!?!?!? Yes, any freshmen.
they each name three freshmen.

Chris Dorian--how can you use your age to your advantage (there is a huge gap).
SM: you can talk to me because I'm not as intimidating as a junior or a senior
MC: I have 2 years on Council experience
JC: I am a senior currently and I've seen a wonderful progression.

Ian--the Secretary positions says that you have to be at all events. Can you guarantee that?
SM: I've also cleared my schedules.
MC: I've been to everything except for when we played for Steve Roth.
JC: I've been to everything

Joe--do you plan to run for other positions in any other groups?
All: no, not really

Dana Rosenberg: How do your academic interests conflict with Board things?
MC: I take 4 classes (poli sci major) per semester. I'm fine.
SM: I'm a bioengineer, taking 7 classes. But I'm pretty anal.
JC: I am a freshman nurse. But I'll make it work.

Andi Frank: What can you add uniquely to Board?
people say things

DKJ asks about how you handle clandestine situations efficiently and effectively.

CLOSING STATEMENTS
SM: catchphrase
MC: If I make a difference, it'll be here.
JC: I love you guys.

Josh on the call

Horse's Ass Nomination
The Scott who went to the Bahamas
The Scott that Flung
The Scott that ruined Alcoholism
The Trifucta
The Dana who forgot her Clarinet
The Reeder who wore a bellyshirt
The Reeder who is a Quaker Girl
The Dylan who hit Calles with a hammer

Third Place is Steven Meisler. We have a runoff between Josh Cooper and Marietta Catsambas for Secretary

Horse's Ass voting has commenced

We are one ballot short. Someone has left. We are revoting.

The Secretary for the 2014 Calendar Year is Marietta Catsambas

Congrats to the New Board! When drowning under emails, make sure to occasionally go up for oxygen.