LIVE BLOG: Penn Band Elections

It's 5:57 PM and we are Live! in the Cheeseman Lab of Atonal Polyphony. That's right, I'm going to live blog the Penn Band elections.

First, we'll go through the candidate list as it stands at the moment:

President
Ben Gaines (Trumpet, Junior, Incumbent Vice President)
Zach Klitzman (Low Brass, Sophomore, BFL Captain/Blogger)

Vice President
Erik Hickman (Trumpet, Junior, From Oregon)
Mike Kettler (Trombone/Low Brass, Junior, Recruitment Chair, WENT TO GONZAGA!)

Secretary
Rebecca Aaberg (Clarinet, Sophomore, Blogger)
Joe Coyne (Trumpet, Sophomore, Big time Cusser/Mean Dude/WENT TO THE PREP!)

Treasurer
Eamonn O'Callaghan (Tuba, Junior, Incumbent Treasurer)

Usually, there's a couple of people who throw their names in the ring during elections. This year appears to be different, however, with a large number of incumbents and Juniors running for positions. I'll check back in with updates regarding speeches, victories, and the fashions they're wearing.

6:06 PM

All the candidates have arrived. The presidential candidates are both in polos with long pants with Gaines appearing more formal in a button-down and khakis and Klitzman in jeans. The outfit disparity is even greater in the Vice Presidential race. Kettler is wearing khakis and a t-shirt, while Hickman has shown up in a full technicolor dream suit (purple shirt, yellow tie). Joe Coyne, surprisingly, looks like a normal human being in a nice sweater and jeans with a haircut. Aaberg is in a red t-shirt with jeans, she also looks like a normal human being. This is much less remarkable than Joe looking normal. Eamonn looks Eamonn-licious (blue polo that has some vague and I imagine corporate logo, blue jeans).

In other news Good Times Carly Weiss (Drums/Keytar, Sophomore, Good Times) has gotten her braces off.

6:11 PM
The band, in general, is showing up late tonight. Either that or turnout is low. This is neither a free food nor practice rehearsal. Interestingly, flute turnout is very high. Maybe even higher than usual. I'm not suggesting Kennedy's Texas in 1960 high, but something to keep an eye on if a flute candidate throws his/her (just kidding, they're all hers) hat into the ring.

6:13 PM
I'm talking to RGCIII. He already has 6 proxy votes (voting while being away), though one of them may not have returned his parka, so there may only be 5.

A Brief Interview
Noah: Greer, how do you feel about the election process?
Greer: It works.
Noah: Have you ever seen an election for the band where you are really frustrated with the results?
Greer: The band always gets the board it deserves.

It seems like Greer is asserting that he has hated boards in years past. I'm looking at you Board of 2003 (Loth, Haddad, Kohl and Tsai).

6:18 PM
Cheeseman kicks things off by saying he's "missionary" position...nice.

Koosh and Greer do a very awkward and obvious plant question. The long and short of it is that you may abstain. Vote by writing down the full last name, otherwise your vote doesn't count.

The first "eat it" motion of the night comes out.

I am the number 7 registered voter.

Adam Sherr, one of the patron saints of Bonegiving is here.

6:21 PM
Presidential elections are up first. Ben Gaines and Zach Klitzman are the candidates. Hal is jokingly nominated. He respectfully declines.

Gaines steps up wearing a tie that I hadn't noticed before.

Gaines' Speech: He's been equipment manager and VP. Loves his time with the group has tried to be as involved as possible. He's helped plan Disney trip, wrote shows (with show writing committee), helps plan road trips with Joe. He's trying to get to know us. Wants to make band a great experience. Takes direct shot at the "rambunctious" members of band. Band has done more for him than he's done for the band. Grown as a leader, become more assertive, more social, these would help him as president. Has experience and skills necessary. Nothing would make him happier.

Klitzman's Speech: He's Zach Klitzman and he plays Euphonium. This is like his family, except not everyone has the last name of Klitzman. He's never missed a basketball game, no missed rehearsals this semester, never missed an overnight trip. Last year's Freshman of the Year (by a wide margin). Leading by example (someone's cell phone has gone off, it's Eamonn's). He wants to be a vocal leader (he writes for the blog, he's very loud at Penn games). Quotes, the band constitution wants to be official leader of this group. Could improve on the communication in the band to outside groups. President as issuing directive rather than dialogue (edit: This is the opposite of what he wants). More openness, like someone's weird uncle we need more inter-sectional unity/social events. There have been unfavorable DP quotes, he would work with DP to solve this, oversight committee for football scripts.

Q&A Period:
Gupta asks a question first. It's very long, complaint about language at basketball game. Gaines answers first, he feels very strongly about it, cheering has gotten out of hand. Here's what he has that's inappropriate: "Engaging small Children, 'S#!%adel', @$$#0$3". Here's what is appropriate: "You suck/Eat It, Engaging Fans, Heckling". Klitzman says "Engaging athletes is part of the experience of being a fan, it's both cheering on your team and being creative in putting down the other team." "Slight cursing is okay." "Engaging small children is hilarious." We would have stopped taunting the children if their parents hadn't been such huge deadbeats.

Becca Goldman (Current Drum Major-esident), asks a question that again directly attacks "the rambunctious members of band". I exit my role as silent character and respond that I was the one who first had chanted the hilarious anti-Citadel chant.

Erik Hickman asks a question regarding "you suck/Rock and Roll Part II Chant". Gaines responds that it's an intrinsic part of the atmosphere. Ben, yet again, takes a shot at "the rambunctious members of band", from here on out I'm going to short hand that as Not Outwardly Appropriate Heathens or NOAHs.

Eamonn asks what other time commitments they have outside of Band and Class. Ben has an answer that he has real interests that involve things I barely understood. Klitzman responds that he's a liberal arts major and writes for the DP and that he would cut down even more for Band President.

Elaine asks why do you have the necessary experience to Klitzman. TR, JFK and Bill Clinton were all young presidents. Klitzman points out that 3/4 of the current board was elected as sophomores, also that Ben Gaines is only 4 months younger than him. He also discusses his role in BFL.

Mel asks, what's on your tie? (Ben: "Instruments!"). Also, what's your most important contribution to the band, one thing? Klitzman: Enthusiasm; Gaines: "Not to be the same but..." dedication.

Becca gets the last question, what do you think the president does? (Becca: "Because I didn't have much of an idea.") Gaines, who's on the board with Becca, responds with what I assume is a correct answer. Klitzman also responds in a sort of meaningless way.

Hickman again, what does SMAC stand for? Klitzman nails it.

Closing Statements: Klitzman: throws out bunch of words; Gaines: "I think you've heard everything we both have to say...Vote for me."

Analysis: Gaines had a clear and large advantage but Klitzman really brought the fight to him. I would imagine Gaines will win this. However, Zach did a very impressive job for a Sophomore running for his first position.

Interview:
Noah: How do you feel you did?
Klitzman: I feel I did pretty well, although obviously the big question mark, my lack of experience came up.
Noah: There were a lot of questions asked about the NOAHs, how did you feel about those questions being a referendum on other members of the band?
Klitzman: I felt it was somewhat legitimate as it came from Koosh since he personally is not against the said person. While it's not an unimportant issue, I felt they were making too big a deal out of it.

Results:
Gaines wins.

6:53 PM
The Vice Presidential race begins. This race holds a lot of personal import as Mike Kettler (close friend of mine) was violently kept out of this position last year, I assume by the GREAT BEARD OF PITTSBURGH (though Ben Gaines, our new fearless leader did an excellent job as Vice President. LONG LIVE CHAIRMAN GAINES!!!).

Kettler's Speech: "I'm here to ask you for your votes." Experience and dedication. I've had a ton of leadership positions. Council, equipment manager, recruitment chair. The speech is interrupted by Atone in the closet. I'm very creative, had a big hand in recruitment. Our recruitment this year has been pretty great. I'm also a part of Fanfare, joined as soon as I could. Helping to have more parties, doing the dirty work, willing to continue taking off my shirt as long as we need money. Been the voice of the band for the last two years. Unique perspective on the Vice President's Job. I'm passionate about the band and this job. I like it cause we get to write scripts and I like to do that. Greer tries to stop his speech. Kettler likes the job so much he's wearing band pants.

Hickman's Speech: He opens with jokes about Pirates. (An aside: I love Pirates.) I yell out jokes at basketball games. I did not create those, I read these on a website, the UVA Band website. I helped spawn the Wizard of Oz show. I have been to a lot of show writings. Show writing committee is responsible for a lot of it. But Vice President has to be leader when President isn't there. I feel like I can get along with anyone on The Board. I get along with anyone in the band, "I get along with you Noah."

Q&A
John Palusci's question is about retaining freshmen. Kettler responds that it's about enthusiasm, you don't have to be there. "You don't have to be here and listen to [jerks] like me discussing how awesome I am." Hickman responds that he thinks dedication is important.

Joe's question is about mingling with the freshmen and making them want to be here, what have you done to keep freshmen specifically? Hickman, I've shown enthusiasm "to the chagrin of clarinets or saxaphones", I wasn't particularly social at the BBQ but that was the fault of the freshmen, not me. Kettler fires back that all he was trying to do for a while was mingle with freshmen, emphasize section leadership, emphasize roadtrips.

Mel's question, what have you done that you didn't have to do but you took the initiative to do it. They're both stunned momentarily silent. Hickman says he stays later and locks people in (gives it a real Silence of the Lambs vibe, gets a nice laught). Kettler says he's been to every football game with the exception of one because he was at OSU-UM in Ann Arbor but he goes above and beyond.

Becca's question reminds us they've both lost board positions before. Hickman says he changed positions because he looked deep inside. Kettler says he has a greater understanding of what is or isn't appropriate.

President Gaines asks how can you figure out where to draw the line. Kettler actively responds first that dying is less funny than teenage pregnancy. Also, he says people should be able to say anything they want that doesn't harm someone else. Takes a shot at Adam. On 2 occasions I've prevented us from forming phallic symbols on the field. Hickman tauts his friendship with Ty. Also, he can draw a strict line. Kettler rebuts that we shouldn't just self-censor ourselves totally, we should have alternatives that we know will get by. Hickman re-responds that not everything is something we should need to get by.

Klitzman asks is you have specific show ideas. Hickman wants to get a "Rowbottom" into a show. Kettler says that almost everything is current events.

Joe asks number of show writing meetings you were at this year. Kettler, all of them. Hickman, not all of them. Joe cuts him off when he tries to explain. Some people are offended by Joe.

Roger asks, should people who are really good friends and in the same section be both president and vice president and Kettler how could make sure this stays a collaborative process. Hickman, I have friends outside the chops. Kettler doesn't want to write all the shows by himself.

Analysis: I thought Kettler had a really nice advantage of having been to all the show writings but I'm concerned that Joe's question may have hurt Mike. As Roger pointed out, Ben and Erik are friends and Ben just won. Every race is tough tonight.

Interview
Noah: Has there ever been a board elected that you've disapproved of?
Koosh: Before the fact, no.
Noah: What makes an objectionable or good board?
Koosh: Before or after the fact. I guess their record in the end. How they handled the tasks that were placed before them.
John: Would you prefer a board that sort of prolongs the status quo as opposed to one that takes the band in new directions.
Koosh: I don't think they're mutually exclusive.
Noah: I was reading about "The General" one of the so called greatest leaders of the Red and Blue Crew.
Koosh: Yeah! The General, he was a really great guy.
Noah: This post was about the 2005 Brown-Penn Game at the Palestra. Notable for the way Penn killed Brown and also the fact that the crowd chanted at "@$$hole" at Forte for about 97 minutes.
Koosh: That pales in comparison to what we did to Princeton in 1999.
Noah: So why is that great and NOAHs are so appalling?
Koosh: Are you ascribing that chant to John Lubin?
Noah: No, the post suggests that the entire Palestra was doing it.
Koosh: Yeah probably the entire student section.
Noah: I was at that game. I was at that whole game. The band was also chanting @$#*!%. That made me want to join the band more. Do you want less of me in the band?
Koosh: A. I wouldn't replace you for the world. B. You're linking the two. The cause and effect. There's more substantive reasons to join the band than that.
Noah: I agree, however, what I said was it was a primary motivator and something that let me know that even an Ivy League band could be a cool group of people, rather than a bunch of introverted, anti-social band nerds.
Koosh: I prefer a larger view of what the band is. You're making it very specific. It's not an adequate view as to what the band is.

Results:
Kettler wins.

7:25 PM

Hickman after losing the Vice Presidency runs against 2 year incumbent treasurer Eamonn.

Eamonn's Speech: I think I'm a good fit for this position. I've done 2 SAC budget requests. Helped set up the new PayPal links. I'm dedicated to the band. Aside from Treasurer, I'm also in Fanfare. Been to both Relays for Life. Vote for Eamonn.

Hickman's Speech: He doesn't get one cause he already spoke.

Q&A

Anabelle asks what was your management project and what grade did you get? Eamonn helped kids set up a thrift shop at their school (B-). Hickman helped the elderly have a luncheon (B-).

Mel asks about their organizational skills. Eamonn uses excel, I'm on top of receipts that aren't Mel's. Hickman, I can also use excel.

Rebecca Aaberg aasks aabout aa girl in her section who never got her pants. They didn't have them ready till the day before the very last game. The only thing I could have done would be encourage her to go down with a group.

Elaine asks how many hours they work. Hickman, 9 but he works in Platt. Eamonn does 10-15 hours at the Video Vault, but he can do most of his work from his computer.

General Gaines asks why Eamonn's running for treasurer again and why Hickman dropped down. It's cause treasurer is what Eamonn wants to be. Hickman wants to give more by joining board and this is his last chance. Takes a shot at 5th years. Koosh disrupts.

Vice Provost Kettler asks about how Hickman can live up to the job that Eamonn has done. Also, do you have skills that set you apart from Eamonn.

Connie asks what areas could you improve to Eamonn. Eamonn thinks that he could give money back in a more timely manner. Hickman agrees that timeliness is important.

Erin: "What's your least favorite part of being treasurer?" Eamonn: "SAC Meetings."

Raimy asks what Eamonn contributes to the Board. He does a large number of the little things. Becca interjects that he's taken minutes.

Analysis:
Eamonn should be impossible to displace. Though Hickman is a great contender.

Results:
Eamonn wins.


7:44 PM
A male chop runs against a female clarinet player for Secretary. Joe v. Aaberg.

Joe's Speech: I don't have time to tell you how much I love the band. I'm always here. I get paid to do this job, I make collate and file attendance lists for money. The last three iterations of Penn Band Secretary have been quiet and introverted. Joe proceeds to name every person in the band.

Rebecca's Speech: Insults Joe's grammar, twice. She's section leader. She can communicate with a section. I can get things together. Works in the Harnwell house office, has secretarial experience. Won't name everyone in band.

Q&A
Noah asks will you please name everyone in band? She names them but slower.

Mel asks why don't you have good standing to Aaberg, slash what is the priority of the band? Joe answers, I've missed no Monday night rehearsals and I've missed 2 games, one for a funeral and one for my Mom's 50th. Are you organized? Rebecca yes, Joe not personally, but I am professionally.

Elaine asks will you have a 20 second dance off? They do.

Our Father Ben Gaines, how often do you check your email? Both check all the time.

Kettler asks can we have a smoke off? They don't.

Koosh asks what's your vision for the next 365 days. Joe responds, my major goal is getting people to women's games and for summer going to high school camps cause the girls are sweet, Joe had a 2K11 pow-wow with the Freshmen and they're devoted. Rebecca wants more social events outside of band and to play at games.

Klitzman asks Rebecca exactly what do you do for Harnwell House Office. She keeps communication between the house dean and the students. She's an organizational powerhouse.

The Almighty Gaines asks about working with the other people on the board. Rebecca can work with anyone. Joe likes the idea of working with Ben and Kettler because they bounce ideas off each other so often.

Mel asks why are you so abrasive Joe? Would you tone that down? "I'm kind of like sandpaper but with glass on it." "While I seem like a jerk, I do love ideas." Rebecca, I'm not abrasive (trombone section dissents).

Robert asks what's your favorite font. Joe responds wingdings. Rebecca, Geneva.

Joe asks if you can't read how can you be secretary? Mental imagery.

Analysis: Girls hold the secretary position, that's the way the Lord wanted it. Joe might win this though but this election has been hard to get a read on, I'll predict Rebecca.

Results:
Joe wins.

The board is a sausage fest. All guys.

Joe caps the night with an EAT IT!