Penn Band meets the workplace

What a game it was last night! Two milestones were achieved:

1. It was the first time in over a decade (not since 1997) that the national championship game of the men's NCAA tournament had gone into overtime (very exciting!), and

2. It was the first time since I've been filling out these silly brackets (c. 2002) that I a) shelled out money to participate AND b) won (half the pool)

I went back and read the fine print, and it revealed that I was entitled to half of the winnings! I'd steadily held first place since the beginning of the tournament, but my UCLA/UNC fantasy bumped me down to (a still respectable) 5th place finish in the graduated points system that many brackets utilize. However, I was still head and shoulders above anyone else in terms of total number of games chosen correctly (47-- how does this number compare to other pools? For perspective, there were only 35-40 people in mine).

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And now...it's the first installment of a semi-regular series! "Penn Band and the Workplace," or something not quite as lame. Basically, I plan to mention the instances when something I learned as a bando has shockingly paid off in The Real World.

Photo: Wired.com (no individual photographer attribution), 2007.

Although this year's Quakers squad wasn't able to win the league's automatic bid and send 29 of us (plus Greer? Minus Greer? I can never remember) on an extended Spring Break, here is a potentially useful tidbit of information for the freshmen (and newbies...I'm looking at you, Class of 2012): claiming that you made your bracket selections based on your "past NCAA tournament experience" gives you total street cred (if you have a dorky job, like me). Acceptably dorky people/positions include, but are not limited to:

- graduate students (any field, but statistics is probably the perfect one)
- researchers (hard science, soft science, post-docs, lackeys)
- health professionals (physicians, nurses, MAs, health educators)
- computer people (programmers, IT)
- engineers
- people in the financial sector who are forbidden to interact with clients (awkward social interactions)

Why is this gem a winner? Because, short of being this guy, everyone will correctly assume that your "tournament experience" was as a member of a band, dance team, cheerleading squad, or as your school's mascot...but they'll respect you for it regardless! You could be as inept as Palo Alto's infamous tree at playing the bracket numbers, but you can stroke your bruised ego with a passing mention of tourneys gone by. A sample interaction (based closely on an actual conversation):

Dr. Stat: "Lisa...nice picks!"
Me: "Thanks, Dr. Stat!"
D.S. "What's your secret? I went down in flames the other day!"
Me: "Well, being a member of my college band, I had the opportunity to go to three NCAA tournaments, so I saw a lot of unbelievable things unfold right in front of me. Last year in Lexington, we caught the end of the Stanford/UW-Milwaukee game before ours, and Stanford ended up losing, despite the 7'0" twins! I think they're highly overrated, so I picked them to lose. It turns out they didn't, but I knew ("based on my tournament experience" heavily implied) they very well could."
D.S. "Well, I hope you win!" (fabrication)

Of course, if you make many correct predictions, they might assume you've figured out a way to beat the house!

Take-home message from these ramblings: play up your first-hand involvement in college athletics! It doesn't matter if you're intentionally vague about your actual participation because, well, people will put two and two together. And you will be perceived as too cool for school among your fellow nerds.