Elections 2015

Elections 2015

Brought to you by Dana "I Want to Swing" Rosenberg & Allison "From the Chandelier" Sands.

5:55pm All's quiet on the Platt front. Koosh sits reading his laptop, pondering, shaking his head. He hopes that the next year brings...something...better.

5:57pm Hark! The arrival of the freshmen! They enter, all full of excitement and promise. Candidates are dressed in suits and stress. Everyone is excited.

5:58pm Dana & Allison watch tumblr video about an emu.

6:00pm The bloggers ask, and an anonymous voter speaks:

Q: What are you looking forward to this election season?

A: I'm looking forward to the tight race for treasurer, that position specifically and no others.

Ed Note: Dammit Jackie, you had to go for that, that hurts.

6:02pm Jonathan Calles, resident DM, steals hat. The world may never know t(hat).

6:03pm People remain in their usual seats. There appears to be no sense of imagination within the Penn Band.

6:04pm Joe Klinger makes a fedora joke. Joe Klinger is no longer in the Penn Band.

6:04pm Chants of "Magic! Magic!" begin. Jonathan Calles calls for backflips. Jonathan Calles is an asshole.

6:07pm We cannot lean on the table we are typing on; it's going to fall. We type lightly with purpose.

6:07pm Quiet chants of Magic. Greer claps his hands and it begins.
"Let's start. I want to go home." -Greer Cheeseman, 2015

6:08pm Greer asks the tough question, "What does Dana do as president?"

Dana speaks too quietly. She is asked to stand.

Dana is a figurehead.

"It's a big job and you can do it!" (clap)

A polite smattering of applause.

Candidates are:
Laura Kuder (WHAR '18, Flute)
Ben Parker (SAS '18, Clarinet)
Colleen Brace (NURS '17, Saxophone)

Laura takes the floor. Dana types furiously fast.

Laura: She joined the Penn Band 64 weeks ago. She was interviewed by 2011 band alum, Vicky. Laura promised her that she'd come to First Rehearsal. She's been in good standing, lives in the Band House, and has been flute section leader, which was the most rewarding experience of her band career. She's organized, hosts events, and runs her section well. She helped execute the band's NSO Carnival, which went beyond her call as a council member. On council, she started to notice the varied opinions of the band, and she thinks a President should embrace that. Laura loves that there is no typical bando (note: a theme!). She looks forward to hearing out different people's opinions, and wants to make this a group that everyone feels welcome in. She thinks she should set an example as President by cheering at games, keeping promises, and provides examples of how she will do so. *Fashion Note: she's wearing an adorable Penn crest heart button*. Finally, Laura's home is 4,000 miles away, she feels at home in the Penn band, and knows this band is what makes her college experience special.

CLAP CLAP CLAP

Ben takes the floor. He claims he's dying? Dammit, Ben. Chad Haddad, "Aren't we all [dying]?!" We love having nurses in the band.

Ben: He is honored to be running for President because of what this group stands for. #Scandal Greer's phone rings. Order is restored and Ben continues. Ben wants bandos to find the same home in the band that he did when he was a freshman. He plans to make decisions that will benefit the band years from now. He wants to focus on special events and road trips because they help bandos bond across sections and years. As travel manager, he enjoyed working with Kyle, AA's, Board, and other bands. Loves doing the behind the scenes stuff. Also wants to emphasize recruitment to expand the band's community as well as creating a welcoming and accepting culture in the band. Site's band's mission: please the university and please the people. The band's mission can only be accomplished if the band is happy, which comes from a communicative Board, Council, and Band. Ben shares his feelings: he lives, breathes, texts, and travels with bandos. The band is his home base, default, and support network. Ben provides more dad humor. This is the family he chose (Ed note: thanks, Dad!). He wants to improve the band because he wants to support us. He's our biggest fan.

CLAP CLAP CLAP

--Allison taking over--

Colleen Brace takes the floor. She wears a lovely scarf.

Colleen: Two years ago she did not think she would be running for President. She didn't apply for council her freshman year, but she grew as a person and as a leader in her time in the Penn Band. With the hope of taking a section known for its poor attendance and making into a working cog of the PB. Initially, it was tricky, but she has been successful in her goals as section leader, bringing them back home. Her leadership skills have developed through her taking care of the hoodlums that are the sax section. She has organized their music and made them a more social section. She knows that new board will be able to accomplish goals, work together, and create an environment where people will grow through the band. A bigger better band is important, but it's also important to keep an eye on the individual, so people don't fall through the cracks. It's important to build from the ground up, and care about every single individual, creating a band that is a source of enjoyment, not stress. We are the face of this university and we should be a working and cooperative unit. As President, she wants to create such an environment, a group that prioritizes having the time of our lives.

CLAP CLAP CLAP

--Dana taking over--

Jonathan Calles (DM, SAS'16): The band often times over commits to events (note: he asked this last year). Suppose you have a special event, and the band's instrumentation is questionable, and you have a week in advance to cancel.

Colleen: Speaks about playing at the LPSSA (Liberal & Professional Studies Student Association) event the band has done for the past two years. She thinks it's important to show up because we make commitments and help incorporate people into the university through our music and mirth.
Ben: Speaks about playing at the hockey game Homecoming weekend. If we're having fun as a small band, it's important to go.
Laura: Answers similarly.

Matthew Eisenberg (Drumline, WHAR '18): Why is no one running for treasurer?

Ben: Would enjoy being treasurer, but thinks he's best suited for the long term thinking the position of president requires.
Laura: Wanted a position where she could build relationships, and make an impact upon people. President does this more than treasurer.
Colleen: She wants to change the environment of the band thought the band's philosophy, which falls under the president's role. (I can confirm).

JSS (VP Candidate, Tuba, SAS, '18), asks the classic first week of band you have to send 20 people to San Diego question.

Laura: Would work with DMs and Section Leaders, notes that seniority matters.
Colleen: Big event, televised, our image matters (read: prettiest bandos?), and instrumentation matters most. She would also prioritized seniority.
Ben: Agrees with what's been said. Bandfurcate if possible so that the new members of the band can remain engaged.

Kelly "Naeun" Ha (DM, SAS'16): How do you balance the happy-go-lucky nature of the band with the band's mission to serve the university?

Colleen: Having a relaxed band would help attendance. We are the face of the university, it's important to show up to events that we commit to.
Ben: Wants to PULL people to band (read: are we rushing or dragging?!). He also thinks that attendance takes care of itself when people are having fun.
Laura: We have to balance school with band, and we can make band a positive place to be.

Dana (President, Clarinet, NURS'16) asks a question. What would your long-term goal for the band be if you were President and why?

Ben: Recruitment and Retention. Both measure how healthy the group is. If people want to join, it means we have a good group. If people stay, it means that people are committed.
Laura: I'd make connections with general band members and the band leadership. Bandos need to feel important and know that they contribute.
Colleen: Make a bigger connection with our alumni network. We don't tap into it enough.

Derek asks the candidates to share their biggest weakness. (Note: Derek's weakness is the fact that he's 13 years old, or is that his greatest strength?)

Laura: Tries too hard to please people so it's difficult to make hard decisions. She will work with her other Board members to make these difficult decisions for the band.
Colleen: Tries too hard to make people happy, and is afraid of upsetting people. Also agrees that team work helps, which shows that she's considerate. (note: she turned the negative into a positive #classic)
Ben: Sometimes he can't convey what he's thinking, but he works on it everyday of his life.

Closing statements:

Colleen: Whenever alumni come back, they emphasize how fun and nice the band used to be. Now that Penn is stressful, she wants to make sure the band stays fun and light.
Ben: The band is a stress free place, the band is in a great place, and Ben wants to continue the progress that's been made.
Laura: The band means so much to her, and being President would be an honor. She wants to make memories with us, and loves us.

"Please vote on the poop emoji!"
-Dana Rosenberg, 2015

--Allison has returned--

Votes are collected.

Koosh talks to us about legal licenses for the CD. Koosh makes announcements about the CD. Woo!!! Greer makes an announcement. We are all getting Penn Band Calendars!!! That's all I wanted for Christmas.

The Penn Band converses.

6:46pm Board seniors return from counting votes!

There is a runoff!
Ben Parker v. Colleen Brace

"Please vote on the bread emoji!"
-Dana Rosenberg, 2015

The Penn Band converses again.

6:51pm Joe Klinger makes another horrible fedora pun. He is out of the band again.

6:54pm Board seniors return again!

Ben Parker is the 2016 President!

--Dana signs on--

On to Vice-President!

What does Matt La Fronz do?
Show-writing, make sure the voice shows up, mostly show stuff, also zoo animal elections maybe.

The Candidates are:
John San-Soucié (SAS '18, Tuba)

JSS takes the floor. He looks dashing!

JSS: 6 score and minus one year ago, a new ensemble appeared on the Schuykill River. A younger more handsome band invented music in 1905, it's all been down hill from there. FDR made us an alphabet soup organization, but we just adopted a petting zoo. The Band ran in the 1976 Republican Election, but the background check revealed that we weren't Bob Dole. JSS wants to introduce the new, the illustrious, tilted unsplit P. He would make a good 1/5th of the Board. He helped rig zoo animal....nevermind. Greer's phone goes off and his speech is over.

Tell us a joke!

JSS: This one is about an aristocrat. *Groans ensue*

Vote by acclimation, no one opposes.

John San Soucie is the 2016 Vice President!

Allison explains what she does: SAC, dues, uniforms, you know the deal. No one is signed up. Joey Licata (Secretary, Chop, SEAS '16) wanted to be treasurer, he's shot down.

Laura Kuder is nominated by Ben Parker.

JSS nominates Colleen Brace, she respectfully declines.

The candidates are:
Laura Kuder (WHAR '18, Flute)

A motion for acclimation is heard for Laura. Derek gets upset because he likes being difficult. A second vote by acclimation!

Laura Kuder is the 2016 Treasurer!

Laura an international Whartonite, making strides for Penn Band Board diversity.

--Allison signs on--

What does Joey do?
Shows up, takes attendance, takes notes, deals with people, makes sure they show up, GOOGLE FORMS, SPREADSHEETS, etc.

Nominees are Spencer Fox.

Nominations from the floor?
Jonathan Calles nominates Colleen Brace.
Colleen Brace respectfully declines.

The candidates are:
Spencer Fox (SEAS' 18, Chop)

Spencer will give his speech, mostly because he is in a suit.

"I excel in Excel."
-Spencer Fox, 2015

A motion for acclimation is heard. Dana wants to hear Spencer's speech. There is no dissent.

Spencer Fox is the 2016 Secretary!

Onto the Ass of Horses.

Greer explains the legend of the Horse's Ass, as well as the legend of Scott.

• Ben nominates Emma for chanting "Amy Gutmann" at someone who wasn't Amy Gutmann. 
• Jeanette nominates Scott for getting married and then slapping Joey across the face
• JSS nominates Spirit Airlines for ruining Disney World forever
• Jacob nominates JSS's found teeth. 
• Jake Ponto for being Jake Ponto.
• Spencer Fox for the rug. 

Votes are taken on the whale. (Ed Note: whale was in the middle of the page). There is public dissent, but Dana no longer aims to please.   

DMs hijack elections to talk about CA auditions. Jonathan and Andi have matching scarves. Nerds. Kelly is sick. They talk about CA stuff. 

There was no magic. We are all disappointed.

7:13pm: Elections end. Shortest elections in a while?

Yay 2016 board! Congratulations! 

The youngest Penn Band Board in history? Perhaps in age, but not in their wisdom.

Once again:

President- Ben Parker
Vice President- John San Soucie
Treasurer- Laura Kuder
Secretary- Spencer Fox