Monday, December 1, 2008


And I am live from high atop the Cheeseman Labaratory for Atonal Polyphony for another year of live-bloggin' at 5:56 PM.

The intrigue this year remains high as 3 of the 4 board spots were held by seniors so with all 4 positions wide open it's time to begin thinking about the FUTURE OF THE PENN BAND.

Candidates for the positions tonight include:

Joe Coyne (2010, Trumpet)

Vice President
Zach Klitzman (2010, Baritone)

Jaci Rifkin (2011, Drums)
Joe Catania (2010, Drums)

Gordon Watkins (2011, Bells)
Jeremy Gurwicz (2012, Drums)

The Candidates arrive slowly, as is the band. The turnout this year appears to be much lower than last year's. In a major surprise, Joe Catania decided to show up, eschewing the Governor's class for an opportunity to be the glorified attendance taker. A quick look at the fashions as we count down the minutes to the beginning.

Joe Coyne: Dressed sloppily, I actually believe he's wearing the same sweatshirt he wore to victory last year.

Zach Klitzman: Wearing a much sloppier outfit than last year, no polo in sight. Just a sweatshirt and jeans for him as well. Could this be the most poorly dressed executive administration in the history of the Penn Band? Probably.

The secretary candidates both look sharp with Jaci in a ruffled blouse and grey jeans, Joe Catania appears formal in a button down down shirt the color of a Barolo and jeans buttoned to the top button.

The treasurer candidate who was clearly gunning for best dressed is Gordon with his understated tie though Jeremy also dressed up for the occasion in a black polo.

I'll be back with some short analysis and predictions soon. Keep checking back for updates as the election progresses.

Joe Coyne gives a long speech the ends in a proclamation because no one ran against him.

Speech and Questions (sorry technical difficulties):
Says he wants to include the people on the bottom and listen to people's ideas. Wants people to want to come to band. Got his pants from his ethnic slurring grandfather.

Vice President
Main responsibilities according to Kettler include being in charge of show-writing, encouraging people's creative ferment, having people killed, going to meetings, really crappy meetings

Again a candidate runs unopposed as Zach Klitzman slinks his way to the front of the band room. He looks less smelly than usual, doesn't smell. He's the Fanfare Vice Chair, helped clean up for parties, plugs semi, says his really tough accomplishment is being travel manager. Went to the Ivy Band Conference last year. Greer makes him nervous, wants to talk to Band Oversight Committee about the band. Thinks the VP is cheerleader of the band. Plus one of the duties is take criticism and he's very good at that.

He thinks he's funny enough because he's hung out with lots of funny people and he's more magical. A-Tone asks why he's VP rather than Sports editor. It's because he knows this is his favorite group on campus and he's 100% committed to it. Doesn't have any show ideas of his own, very open to writing any show that anyone submits an idea for, it's a collaborative effort. Ben asks about the loudest members of the band got the movies put on as travel manager, are you going to try to get everyone to get their vote in as VP? He says that putting on movies aren't as important as writing shows, realizes he's not the decider and says he'll listen to people on the show-writing committee. He's trying really hard to meet with the Band Oversight committee because he wants to have less oversight. Erik asks if he's learned any lessons from the Hey Song incident. We can't say "you suck" also, it's neat that the tradition is dependent on the band. Koosh asks about the currently suspended Yale Band. Klitzman says he doesn't know how Yale props work, says that if the director approved the prop and didn't catch it, it's his fault.

Eamonn tells people that he goes to SAC meeting and making sure dues are collected. He is wearing a smart outfit and goatee.

Gordon says he's a sophomore in the college and that hopefully we all know him. He's currently the equipment manager, and those repsonsibilities overlap. Parka managing can be difficult cause people don't like to return them. Works in the Dean's office with the school of medicine and does some of their expense reports. Has nothing further to add other than I really want to be your treasurer.

Jeremy says plays the misshapen abominations called quints. Who would want to be treasurer because no one cares about them until stuff's in the toilet. Thinks the band needs a new stimulus package, suggests bulk instruments, stretch limos, space heaters. Can we trust him not to skim off the top, because he wants to spend every cent that we have. Has handled large budgets before, dealt with the creation and implementation of budget in Student Council and charity drives. Investment and AIG and Citibank are his two main, quotes DMX in his speech.

Campisi asks about the Penn Band's finances and how they work. Gordon can't right now but he talked to some board members and they said they'd walk him through them; in fact neither of them can tell you in detail and then attempts to tell us in detail. Eammonn asks do you know what SAC stands for Jeremy gets 1/3 and Gordon gets 3/3. Hickman asks if he's in Wharton and Jeremy isn't. Joe has a question about how they're going to make themselves more available to people who don't know them; Jeremy says he's going to participate in events outside of band, Gordon admits that he's a little shy. Kettler asks what their favorite thing about money, Jeremy says cause it's not his; Gordon likes the old five dollar bills better. Mayuko was a treasurer and says sometimes you have to talk in front of a lot of people and that sometimes we're not taken seriously and that you have to be persistent and professional asks what kind of qualities they have that would make them a good treasurer. Gordon says he likes to prepare himself and that he'd be very prepared. Mayuko recommends tenacity. Jeremy was captain of his basketball and football teams in high school, must not have been very good programs. Koosh asks 9*13 they both get it at nearly the same time. Palusci asks what they're going to be bring as far as decision making. Jeremy says he's good at listening to people and at making decisions. Gordon tends not to have very strong opinions. Pips with a haircut asks how do you reconcile your drummer names with being good members of the Penn Band. Gordon says he doesn't think it's informing. Robert says that Eamonn is fussing around with Microsoft Money and Gordon knows how to use it and Jeremy doesn't. Klitzman asks how are you going to raise money from alums? Jeremy says he's going to schmooze (great knowledge of Yiddush not a pre-requisite for Penn Band treasurer). What do you want to spend the money on? Gordon wants new lyres and drum stands, flip folders, lots of stuff. Jeremy wants more drum pork.

Closing Statement
Jeremy said a lot of jokes, but he's not a terrible person, takes his jobs seriously. Thinks this is the best organization at Penn. Gordon is really committed to band, is always here and wants to get more involved.

I have gained a better understanding, the drummers aren't canabilizing, they're forcing others out. I suspect by next semester we'll have all new drums with fancy sterling silver sticks. Finally a vote, a break and an interview. Coming up next.

Interview with Vice President Zach Klitzman
Noah Becker: So Zach, it seems to me that you got a lot of questions that were related to the band "Culture Wars." What did you make of these questions and why do you think you got them rather than Joe?
Zach Klitzman: Not as much as last year. (Mouth full of crackers) Well, part of be honest is that I guess the Vice Presidency is more connected to the band culture, the show writing, the more the same time I was surprised I got more than Joe. Also I feel my section affiliation had something to do with it.
Stunna: Who's your favorite Vice President who did not either run or serve as president?
ZK: That's tough, does Aaron Burr count as running. Calhoun.
Noah Becker: Do you have a vested interest in who wins the other two elections?
ZK: What? Theoretically, I don't.

Gordon wins the election.

The Secretary race is on:
Joe says you're the band's bitch and you learn everyone's name, you're the only person in the band who knows everyone's name, also you take minutes at meetings and send out schedules.

Jaci is a sophomore, psych majoring drummer, band is her only extra curricular. She tries to come to everything. Has been in band since fall of her freshman year, we're all her best friends. She's been drum line section leader for the last year, she thinks that going from Drum Line section leader is the best transition to secretary because she sends out schedules and has to plan for what sort of instruments are going to be there. She's a girl so she was born with secretarial abilities. She and Joe both have curly hair.

Catania he's Joe also a drummer and he's a junior but a band sophomore. Freshman year he had a class so he didn't join the band, but he was friends with Joe Coyne. Joined sophomore year, has been to 7 of 9 football games. Rearranged his school schedule last semester. Didn't this semester because he was taking a class with Governor Rendell. Band is his far and away number one activity, he is an officer in two other clubs. But says this just gives him experience. Systems Engineering gives him an advantage on doing schedules. Thinks he's pretty approachable. But thinks he could name 50 of us in the room, maybe more! Vot for him, says he.

Joe says being secretary means you have to do the worst job in the Penn Band other than Greer, do you have the time to take 20 hours out of your life each semester and just type numbers into a spreadsheet? Jaci is used to it, thinks it's awesome to know everyone and punching numbers is her fetish; Joe considers excel spreadsheets to be a hobby doesn't care about the reward, cares about helping the band. Becca asks what do you add to the team that's been elected; Joe attempts to be chivalrous and doesn't pay off, says he has a good working relationship with Joe and Klitzman and Gordon is, apparently, the man; Jaci says she has an X chromosome and likes anime like Joe and Zach and Jaci AIM alot and Gordon is on her section also, remember she's a girl! John says we had a very successful all male board, how are you going to make it better? Jaci won't promise that they won't embezzle drum money but promises that her numbers won't lie. Joe also agrees, but says he'll keep Gordon in check. Name that bando time both successfully get the names. Mayuko says that they'll be the first person that new bandos will talk to, so how will you reconcile not scaring them with not being flat and lifeless? Joe says he'll try to coax those who are scared off back. Jaci says she's a womyn and they're not scary at all. How will you deal with interpersonal situations in a big group asks former secretary Allwine. Joe says he's all about people, will be open to anyone who wants to talk to him, make people feel comfortable, about fun not being all uptight. Joe uses the verb to lure, he's also building a gingerbread house if you're interested! Jaci says we should be loud and full of boister. Robert says the secretary works with the music manager, how will you? Joe says he'll come early to rehearsal, but he has a class till 6, so, no he won't says he'll stay late. Jaci says she'll come early. Matt asks, beyond your abilities as a secretary what other stereotypical abilities do you bring? Also, Joe, as this has become a battle of the sexes, how does she stand up to Billie Jean King and could you beat Jaci in a tennis match. Jaci says she can bake, get cranky and nag, showers, will yell at you to do laundry (Joe says he'll actually do it.) Joe can make baked ziti, says he can't beat Jaci at tennis cause of a knee injury but can win Wii tennis. Becca Aaberg asks if you're not elected to this position how are you going to continue to exist in the band. Jaci will apply to be section leader again. Joe will also apply for section leader if he loses, so, drummers, it's pretty much a win-win for you guys.

Closing Statement
Joe: vote for me. Jaci: vote for me.

Jaci is the victor.

A shorter live blog than last year. Happy Greek Ladying!

1 comment:

Melody Kramer said...

wow, noah turned into the penn band's nate silver...